Friday, May 29, 2015

Quick & Simple Chicken Curry with Pineapple

It has really been a while since I've actually posted up a recipe as such - however rest assure with the new kitchen at my new home there will be a steady full of sexy time recipes.

This recipe, although sounds odd actually packs a good punch when the correct flavours and ingredients are combined together. You're probably wondering, why the heck pineapple and curry? Well if you're like me and your roots trace back to the deep food culture of Asia then you would understand spice & tangy are a matched made in heaven! The flavours I'm trying to achieve here in this quick recipe would be similar to those of a spicy & tangy soup and that works wonders not to mention the ladies love pineapple :)

  • 1kg of roughly chopped up chicken thigh fillets (if you're health conscious, breast will do too)
  • 1 roughly chopped brown onion
  • 3~4 cloves of chopped garlic
  • 1/2 a pineapple (if you don't have fresh then a can will do)
  • 1x package of Indian Curry paste (make sure it's spicy, non of that butter chicken rubbish)
  • 1 teaspoon of salt
  • Optional chilli flakes
Chop all that shit up to your liking, no need to make them pretty especially the garlic and onion as they will be cooked up to shit anyway. Heat up a pot or a deep pan with some olive oil and brown up the onion and garlic, reduce heat. Once brown and translucent, add in chicken and brown the crap out of them. Whilst that's sizzling along, mix the curry paste with about 300~400mL of water and whisk it till it looks like Friday night's liquid exiting from your mouth. Bring up the heat and then add in the mixture, it should burn the shit out of your eyes when the liquid is heated up but damn does it smell freaking awesome. Bring it to a strong boil, then reduce the heat to a steady simmer and crack open a beer or 3 - reward yourself as you've done great. Once the liquid is near thick add in your chopped pineapple and bring it to a boil, the sugary goodness should thicken & sweeten up the curry. Quickly taste your masterpiece and adjust taste with salt & pepper if required and if it's not hot enough add a few teaspoons of chilli flakes (the hotter you make it, the more grog you'll consume with whoever is having dinner with you).

Serve with naan bread OR rotti, the supermarket pre-made shit is pretty good with this meal and make sure you have loads of cold alcohol ready. This meal needs it!

Time: 45 mins
Serves: 4 easily
Cost: $15

Monday, May 18, 2015

Yes I'm still alive & a new Sexy Time Kitchen is on the way too!

So you're wondering what on earth has happened to the blog? Well for starters, I've moved and work has been draining the shit out of me which unfortunately leads to not enough cooking and resulting in minimal sexy time :(

Don't worry, I'll be coming back hard and strong soon!

Check out this epic as shit kitchen below:

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Quick & Easy Lamb Shank Stew

Lazy, tired and can't be arsed cooking? Here's a lazy recipe that should make cooking quick and easy, allowing for time to catch up on needed sexy time!

(Gosh I nearly called this Lamb Skanks instead of Shanks)

This meal would be best prepared around at lunch time so it's ready to be serve at dinner for your special someone with plenty of time to do other things than cook.

  • 2x Lamb Shanks (4x if they're smaller ones)
  • 1/2 a bottle of cheap shit red wine
  • 1x 500mL container of beef stock
  • 4x carrots
  • 2x Spanish onions
  • 1x celery
  • 1x can of chopped tomatoes
  • 2x tomatoes
  • 4x cloves of garlic
  • 1x spring of rosemary

Chop the shit out of the vegetables and drop everything but the carrots into a pot as pictured below, add some olive oil and cook them till there's some colour. This should take about 10 ~ 15 minutes depending how hot your cooker is. Once there's some colour, add the stock, canned tomatoes shanks then cover the lot with red wine - making sure everything is submerged. This point it will look like absolutely shit, don't worry. Reduce the heat all the way down and simmer for about 2 hours, occasionally stirring the contents. After 2 hours, drop in the carrots and continue simmering for about another 1.5 hours. At this point, the meat should be just about falling off the bone. Quickly have a taste test at this point, add salt and/or a touch of sugar if required. If you wish, remove the meat off the bone and discard the bones. I tend to serve it boneless as it's easier to eat.

Serve on a bed of mash or crusty bread with a nice glass of red, not the cheap shit you use before! Hopefully strong brownie points and sexy time lalalala!

Time: 4 hours
Serves: 2 (or 4 depending on the shank size)
Cost: $25

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Easy Beef Stew (anyone can make it)

Dead simple beef stew, honestly no way you can f%#k this one up, unless you're really stupid and unable to follow instructions in engrish :)

The beauty with stews is that you could throw in anything from the fridge and it would taste awesome. Nothing better than beef stewed to the shit house and turning out soft as butter. Did I ever tell you how much I enjoy listening to Kaskade's music?

(Excuse the shit photos, I got lazy and shot them all on AUTO)

  • 1 kg of lean beef (fatty is more preferable, but we're trying to be healthy)
  • 200 grams of pancetta or bacon
  • 1 slice leek (discard the green, just slice the stem area)
  • 2 chopped whole onions (red or white or both)
  • 4 gloves of smashed garlic
  • 6 carrots (depending on what you like)
  • Salt & Pepper
  • 500mL of beef stock
  • 1/3 bottle of red wine
  • Flour

Cube up the beef, drop into a mixing bowl and cover the shit out of it with red wine. Let it sit for around half a day in the fridge. Remove and drain the meat but do not discard the red wine. Now coat the meat in flour, don't go hard. Heat up a pan, add some oil and fry up the beef till golden. Add in garlic, onions, leek, pancetta and cook up the lot till everything smells awesome. Reduce heat and pour in the red wine from before, add in the beef stock and simmer for about an hour. Drop in carrots and further reduce heat and occasionally stirring. Season with salt and pepper and continue to simmer till mixture is at a nice and think consistency. This took me about 2.5 hours of simmering to get it right. Alternatively if you're strapped for time, just bang the lot into a slow cooker and Bob's your uncle (in hindsight I should have just done that from the start).

Serve with crusty bread and a nice glass of wine.

Time: Too long
Serves: 8
Cost: $30

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Seared Garlic Aged Scotch Fillet with Wasabi Mayonnaise


Since starting my new job I don't have the luxury of leaving on time anymore. This means I need to find new ways to come up with fast and tasty meals for myself and the other half.

This has probably got to be the quickest meal I have knocked back on this blog, yet it's quite tasty and it didn't take too long either. If you're quick in the kitchen, I reckon you should be able to knock back this meal from fridge to plate in under 20 minutes, true story bro!  

  • Steaks, I had the luxury of using 90 day aged stoch fillet for this
  • 2x garlic cloves
  • 1x pinch of salt
  • Pepper
  • 2x tablespoons of olive oil
  • Wasabi
  • Japanese Mayonnaise
  • Salad of some sort, left overs, etc.
Smash up the garlic and chop up into little bits, bang the lot into a mixing bowl along with some salt, cracked pepper and the olive oil. Give the lot a good toss and let it sit. Heat up a pan and drizzle some olive oil on it, make sure it's super hot. Cook the steaks approximately 2 minutes either side, I tend to like my shit raw because I don't like wasting a good piece of meat.

To serve, mix up some wasabi and mayonnaise together on the side to dip the steak in. Serve with some greens and other shit you find in the fridge.

Time: 20 minutes
Serves: 2~3
Cost: $8 for Wasabi & Mayonnaise, $100 for 6.5kg aged Scotch Fillet

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Simple and Quick Fried Icecream

Quick and simple enough for anyone to make, I'm serious! I made this for my partner and a thumbs up and something else :)

Best to make these a day in advance so you can freeze the shit out of them.

This is probably isn't anything healthy, but hey a treat once in a while isn't too bad right? Here goes!

  • Filo pastry sheets (3x sheets per fried icecream)
  • Low fat vanilla icecream (3x scoops per fried icecream)
  • 1x egg
  • Caramel sauce
  • Coconut shavings
  • Icing Sugar

Thaw out the filo pastry, and separate into sets of three sheets per fried icecream. Scoop approximately 2~3 scoops of icecream for each fried icecream and roll up however you want to, make sure it is icecream tight. Use the egg to seal up the pastry and pop the parcels straight into the freezer, the longer and colder they are the better they will turn out. When ready, heat up enough oil to cover the icecream and make sure it's at decent hot. Pop in the frozen icecream parcels and fry for approximately 30 seconds, remove and place on paper towels. Serve immediately with coconut shavings, caramel sauce, and icing sugar. Serve immediately!

Time: 10 minutes (overnight freezing time, if have a commerical blast freezer then 30mins or so)
Cost: ~ $10
Serves: 4 or more depending on portion sizing

Monday, November 12, 2012

Grilled Cajun Chicken Breast Salad

Healthy, simple and tasty not to mention cheap is what I always look for in a lunch during the week. This simple recipe should satisfy those requirements. Not to mention, it's quite easy to knock up and doesn't take much time.
  • 2x Chicken butterflied chicken breasts or as much as you need
  • 2x Tablespoons of Masterfoods Cajun spice (yeah yeah I'm being lazy)
  • 2x Teaspoons of garlic powder OR 2~3 gloves of minced garlic
  • 1/2 cup of olive olive
  • 1/3 Teaspoon of sea salt

Combine that shit up in a bowl, rub it in well and let it sit in the fridge for about an hour to marinate. Then slap it on the BBQ either cut up or whole and cook till nice and golden brown. This should take about 30 minutes or so depending on your BBQ. Best to serve with some cous cous, mixed leaf salad and some dressing (I used a simple balsamic dressing). Great for packing for lunch like I did!

Time: ~ 1.5 hours
Cost: $20
Serves: About 10 servings

Monday, October 15, 2012

Quick Veal Roast with Garlic & Five Spice Rub

Realised I needed to cook something for lunch for the week and I only realised this late at night too. It's fortunate and also unfortunate where I work as there are no cheap places to go eat at, but at the same time no healthy places to go eat at. This forces me to cook my own lunches to cater to my dietary requirements.

  • A veal log, or whatever cut you desire, scotch fillet might be tastier!
  • 3x teaspoons of garlic powder
  • 2x teaspoons of Chinese five spice powder
  • sprinkle of mixed herbs
  • pinch of salt & pepper (more if you like)
  • several tablespoons of olive oil
Preheat your oven to about 180 degrees Celsius (or a little less if fan forced, I have an ancient shitty oven). Combine all the ingredients together on a mixing tray and make love to the veal log, by that I mean just coat the meat. Drop it into the oven and roast it for about 50 minutes or less depending on how you like it done. Remove, rest, slice and eat. I recommend serving this with steam veg or even a simple mash.

Time: ~ 1 hour
Cost: $18
Serves: Not sure, I estimate about 4 lunches with left over (I consume loads of protein)

Monday, July 30, 2012

FULLY SICK 10000+ Visitors!

It's a milestone for this crappy blog, but nevertheless it has ticked over that 10000+ mark...


Sunday, July 22, 2012

Custard & Chocolate Tart Thing

So I tried to make dessert, I've always sucked in this department. Afterall I am male and it's already a gift I can cook better than most females in my age group (didn't say anything about presentation alright!) so I'm not overly sad this looks like shit.

As expected, I got no sexy time for this.

Failed, will not try ever again.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Simple Sliced 5 Spice & Garlic Rump

Simple meal, great for when you're getting back into the training (like myself) and needing something healthy to eat. I chose use rump because it's easy to cook and tasty with minimal seasoning. With the portion used, it should easily feed 1x person four times. Please note, this meal is not really that tasty LOL...

  • 1x clump of rump (approximately 1.1 kgs)
  • 1x teaspoon of garlic powder
  • 2x teaspoons of five spice powder
  • salt and pepper
Slice rump however you like it, I prefer little logs because it is heaps faster to cook. Cover the sliced rump with the seasoning and let it sit for about 15~20 minutes. Heat up a pan with some olive oil and cook it for about 10 minutes, constantly tossing it about. Serve on a bed of brown rice (as I did) or some sweet potato.

Time: ~25 minutes
Cost: ~$10 (buy your meat from a butcher, support them)
Serves: 4

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Caramelised Bananas with Rum

Had some left over bananas lying around at home and needed to use them up quick smart! This recipe was inspired by Gabriel Gate's version of flaming bananas or some shit. I saw it on Channel 9's morning show when I home kind of sick many years ago :)

  • 2~3 Sliced Bananas (length ways would be more preferable)
  • 1x shot of rum (I used cognac because I ran out of rum lol)
  • 1x clump of butter
  • 2~3 tablespoons of brown sugar (any is fine)
Chop up the bananas and sprinkle it with sugar, covering all sides, let it sit in the fridge for around 30 minutes. Once ready, heat up a pan, and melt the butter. Add in bananas and let them caramelise, noting colour, flip when ready desired colour has been reached. Add in rum/cognac and set alight (CAUTION THIS COULD BURN THE HAIRS OFF YOUR FINGERS) and remove from heat. Let the alcohol burn off completely (this takes around 40~50 seconds).

Serve up with extra fruits, icecream and chocolate sauce.

** Gym for 2 hours the following day.